BEST OF “What do you most fear about attending #BlogHer09?”

In anticipation of attending BlogHer’09, moms who blog were asked, “What do you most fear about attending BlogHer’09?“

• Bad food.

• Driving to the plane. Getting on the plane. Flying in the plane. Crashing in the plane.

• Farting in an elevator filled with bloggers

• Feeling Fat. Nuthin worse than having a fat day when you are in a room of critical women…with CAMERAS and BLOGS.

• I am always fearful that people won’t care to talk to me, or that they’ll look at me, see the “dowd factor” and turn away to more exciting people.

• I have thiis recurring dream where Finslippy, Mom101 and Dooce are the Heathers, and they keep asking me what my damage is and then out me as a fraud. Not really. Heather won’t be there because of the new baby so this can’t happen. Whew.

• I have to leave before the closing party, as my daughter is going to sleepaway camp the next day. Can’t be the crappiest mom in America by not seeing my kid off to camp for the first time the next day, right? I’m fearful I might miss a lot of fun, and frankly, a lot of stuff that I can blog about for the next few months.

• I’m pretty bad about missing flights. I missed my flight coming home from SXSW and it was a drag. I might ask Twitter to help me remember when to go home.

• My breasts exploding. Followed by, or perhaps equal to dying in a fiery plane crash.

• Not consuming enough coffee for all of the parties. That and wondering if my infant ‘baby dude’ is gonna let me hang at some of the parties, or if he’ll be too crankalicious to hang out with a bunch of blogging mommas event after event.

• Not finding anyone that I know or having to hang out by myself. I would get way too drunk that way.

• Not opening up my mouth and being afraid to approach and talk to people because of sheer intimidation. I’m the one in the party who tends to get stuck in the corner and not come out.

• Since I currently have nowhere to sleep, I’m afraid I’ll be sleeping on a park bench! I’ve been joking that I’ll stand in the hotel lobby with a sign (Help! Need a Bed!) and a plate of cookies in hopes of recruiting a place to crash. I’m not easily intimidated by the unknown, and I like meeting new people, and I’m not shy, so I’m not really afraid.

• Soiling myself, or maybe streaking. I don’t know which I fear more. The question is, I suppose, is which of these is worse for YOU?

• Standing there blinking like a deer in headlights when someone I am supposed to know starts talking to me. (You know, because of the whole aforementioned brain melting thing.)

• That I might inadvertently trample someone in my effort to reach Jenny the Bloggess in her bathroom hideaway.

• That I will make like a clam and close. If you see a tweet go out that reads “if you see someone sitting in the corner drinking heavily and tweeting on their iPhone, please talk to me” then please find me. That 4 days may not be enough to fit in all that I want to do and experience. Bloggerazzi – afterall I’m not the most co-ordinated of people and I’d hate for photos of me falling over with legs up in the air in all my spanx’d glory becoming advertising for ‘What not to wear’.

• that my boob will fall out of my shirt–spontaneously–as if independent of me.

• That my picture will end up on Facebook. I do not photograph well.

• That no one will speak to me or know who I am…If you see me, and you don’t know me, just pretend, mmkay?

• That the people I most admire will not actually want to be my new best friends. Also, that I will be struck mute during my panel. Or that someone will say mean things to my face.

• The National Guard and hangovers

• The people.

• This is my 3rd time attending BlogHer and, although I’m much better about traveling on my own, I still get SO stressed out about it. I guess it comes from being in a roomful of eleventy-hundred bloggers who are way smarter than I am. I guess it’s because there’s no way to delete, or Photoshop, real life – not that I know of, anyway.